All I want for Christmas is… something weird.

It’s not uncommon, in the hours before Christmas, to Google helplessly for lists like “90 cool holiday gifts you can get in Japan,” only to find that the items listed can only be purchased on Amazon Korea. With a defeated sigh, you walk into a department store looking for a quick solution. As you hand the cashier ¥10,000 for five boxes of kamome no tamago (“seagull eggs”) you try to reassure yourself, “It’s the thought that counts, right?”
No. Christmas is no time for token generosity. It’s a time to put careful thought into what you buy your coworkers, friends, and family members. Here are three Osaka stores that will make your gifts stand out from the flock of seagull eggs.

Asobiya – Japanese Goods and Giraffe Shop

A mecca for those who love Earth’s tallest creature or need a way to compensate for being short-necked – it’s probably (hopefully) the only shop in the world dedicated to giraffes. Filled with giraffe trinkets, bracelets, earrings, a giant ¥200,000 painting of a giraffe, a giant stuffed giraffe, and everything giraffe-related except actual giraffes, (though they probably wouldn’t mind if you rode in on one), even if your relatives don’t appreciate the gift, you’ll at least get points for effort and creativity.

>>Access: Tanimachi Subway Line, Nakazakicho Stn, Exit 2, 3-min walk
>>asobiyaweb.nomaki.jp/aboutShop.html

Koo Psychedelic Trippers

For the smoker in your family, and those who take pride in wearing obnoxious T-shirts, the amiable owner of this Amemura store in Shinsaibashi will gladly chat you up or invite you to Burning Man. There are plenty of pins, stickers, pipes, black lights, tie-dye clothing, and even a T-shirt of Mario smoking tobacco. It’s not unlike an American head shop, only here you don’t need any ID. Don’t you wish you knew about a place like this in high school?

>>Access: Midosuji Subway Line, Shinsaibashi Stn, Exit 7, 5-min walk
>>psychekoo.thebase.in/about

Tenten

Possibly no store in Osaka blends kawaii and kowai (cute and scary) respectively as naturally as Tenten. Lovers of My Little Pony, Care Bear, and Barbie will be at home here… as will lovers of images of such precious characters with blood gushing out their mouths as they terrorize a bunny population. The store, a collection of kawaii-kowai clothes, has its many toys and trinkets and is divided by maker, featuring work from over 80 mostly Osakan designers. It’s easy to dismiss Tenten as cloying or even typical, but it’s so unsparing in its vision of a world where everything is either precious or bloodthirsty that it’s sure to start anyone’s inner goth rejoicing; it’s like Hot Topic for otaku (nerds) – who are possessed. It’s even less easy to dismiss the gall of a person who would walk down the street with a blue sweatshirt featuring a girl’s head floating through outer space while she vomits an entire greenhouse of tulips, and that goes double for someone who would wear a My Little Pony jacket. Owner Chiaki Nakano says, “At our store, some items are cute. Some items are scary. But all of our creators are cute.”

>>Access: Tanimachi Subway Line, Nakazakicho Stn, Exit 2, 3-min walk
>>ameblo.jp/meruheso/entry-11635917406.html